It's been a couple of days off work is busy plus I've been wallowing in my own pity party for a day or so. I've realized a few years ago, okay realized it long before I actually admitted it, that I have an obsessive personality. This should come as no shock to any of you. But the difficultly with an obsessive personality is maintaing it. Hell, stablity is out the window. Balance is hard for those with a one track mind. Consistancy is the challenge. When you throw everything you can into one thing the trick is maintaining that intensity.

This personality worked great for campaign work. 14 hour days - no problem. It was all intensity and consuming. That type of pace and work flow doesn't translate the best for library work. Finding motivation to force yourself to dive into something is the challenge. Artifical motivation only lasts so long.

Parenting is great for this distructive personality type. It's easy to throw everything you have at your kids. The tough part is admitting that you need to throw something at the rest of your life, spouse, work, health. That's probably something all new parents work on. And now as we get ready to be parents again, remembering this balancing act weighs on my mind. All the scales get shifted again.

Well, now you see the pity party I was starting to throw. Feeling like I should throw more to my job, but not finding the desire to. Looking forward to throwing everything at my family, but trying to cope with the balance issues.

Don't get me wrong, I love my obsessive personality. Really how else could I have the desire to sit on the floor playing video games, eating junk food, not sleeping until the game was beat. Obsession may not be healthy, but it's sure damn fun.


Sis said...

do you think you get it from mom? ;)

Paul said...


She does have that streak in her, but I never thought about it like that. And nasty combo of Dad's frustration and Mom's obsession.

Damn genes